Semi Qualifiers ---- UNOFFICIAL

DRIVER	BEST 5 ROUNDS
886 Chris Bradbury	145
377 Daz Shaw	116
218 Rob Speak	113
676 Neil Hooper	88
401 Barry Goldin	83
100 George MacMillan	78
921 Jack Aldridge	73
647 Chris Burgyone	66
905 Rob Mitchell	63
641 Dennis Middler	59
788 Steve Mallinson	58
854 Robbie Dawson	58
960 Aidy Whitehead	57
888 Paul Ford	57
145 Graham Mole	56
823 Sam Wagner	55
124 Ollie Skeels	54
494 John Dowson Jnr	51
606 Andrew Palmer	51
488 Liam Bentham	48
797 Dan Moss	48
72 John Broatch	48
836 David Pannett	48
226 Billy Webster	47
324 James Thackra	47
761 Richard Bowyer	47
154 Steve Green Jnr	46
254 Richard Beere	45
522 Chris Mikkula	44
700 Adam Rubery	43
76 Chris Rowe	43
59 Lee Dimmick	43
995 Michael Lund	43
301 Charlie Whitfield	43
315 Justin Fisher	42
115 Mike Green	42
186 George Turrucki	40
189 Paul Butcher	40
7 Gordon Moodie	40
835 Matt Westaway	40
662 Steve Wycherley	40
798 Mark Sargent	39
409 Luke Maw	39
38 Dave Polley	38
968 Mickey Brennan	37
817 Tim Bailey	36
615 Josh Coleman	35
871 Mark Simpson	34
725 Paul Broatch	33
605 Liam Rowe	32
617 Carl Shields	32
219 Chris Mitchell	31
634 Paul Kitching	31
169 Richard Stott	31
768 Tom Adcroft	31
70 Brian Shadbolt	30
77 John Davies	29
126 Jamie Avery	29
270 Mick Gibbs	29
783 James Rygor	27
732 Daz Kitson	27
597 Barry Clow	26
101 Kelyvn Whalley	26
H3 Danny Van Wamelen	26
864 Stephen Preston	26
136 Kyle Taylor	24
618 Ben Lockwood	24
20 Dave Tagell	24

Speak Swipes Barford Qualifier

Barford reports and it's not Wrighty for once, first time reporter Dave Crossman reports from a blistering Barford....

Who said Barford's gone to the dogs? Or Something like that

It was a sunny morning when we set off for my first trip to Barford since the 2004 world final , as it is one of the more local tracks since we moved to East Yorkshire . What should of been a 2 hour trip was made longer by someone having there own bit of caravan chaos by leaving it on it's side over 2 lanes of the A1(M).

On arrival it was dry, but windy and thinking "bugger should of not worn shorts"! The program left a lot to the imagination no driver list or race order !!!! .

We started with the white and yellow race which was won by David Parker (934) 

Next up was the 1st heat for the 2's and what a race it was there was an early clash which saw Paul Prest (49) being pushed sideways halfway down the back straight. When the race started to settle, Charlie Whitfield (301) (with a very dodgy roof is it red or blue ?) and Bobby Griffin (866) battling for the lead. Then they were joined by John Dowson (494) and Marc Fortune (64). With 3 to go 494 takes the lead onto the last bend and all hell breaks loose 301 64 and 886 all end up in the plating leaving 494 to take the win. Dave Pannett (836) took advantage to get 2nd while 866 gets back for 5th followed by 301.

Heat 2 was a quiet race with the yellows battling out the lead Carl Shield (617) leading  Luke Maw (409) until the last bend where 409 pushed his way past. and Sir Rob (218) in 3rd.

Consolation time and there was a small delay while Fortune repaired the damage from heat 1. When it got under way it turns out to be a red top benefit , after a big crash for Parker which looked like a stuck throttle leaving him with lots of damage. The race was won by Micky Brennan (968)from 888 and 64.

Time for the final all eyes were on Sir Rob who was starting outside front of the reds,it was going to be frantic with 26 cars on track.

Not sure you wanted to Parker it there

Making the Prest of the situation

There was early problems in the yellows and blues with 866 pulling off and Speak making the most of it to soon shoot up to 3rd. The race was brought under caution for Holly Glen (321) who needed attention for a broken fingernail!(Ed. please be aware Holly I have nothing to do with this!) . On the restart the order was 409, John Broatch (72) and 218 from 301 and 100. Speak soon took up the lead and then another stoppage for 617 . 2nd restart the order was 218 100 72 301 with 4 to go the last few laps ran out and 218 took the win from 100 and 301 . 

It took the tractors 20 mins to clear the 6 or so stranded cars in which time the PA played Slade "Merry Christmas Everybody"  (I am not joking ).

I did not see much of the GN as I was in the pits getting out of one of the local hot rods after being a passenger for one of there races it was won by Billy Webster (226) from 301 with Speak up to 6th from the handicap.

All in not a bad day from the 2's the support classes where lacking in numbers , and  surprisingly no Gordon Moodie (7) ?

Thanks to Dave for that report. Things certainly are spicing up. Just to let you all know, we will be reporting in from Skegness and will tell you who is where tonight.

Nathan's is Roy's Boy!

Glorious sunshine befell the Devon track for probably first time this year. With the onset of Summer, some 32 cars were in the pits, up on the previous meeting. A huge crowd befell the tight little track, probably with the sun and the added incentive of some caravandalism, a huge tonic to anyone on the roads in the busiest weekend for emmets! Or maybe it was to discuss the finer points of a jubilee and anniversaries with Mark Moon! Onward with a full format!

Neil Hooper (676) drove a faultless race in heat one after white top newcomer James Politmore (79) took the ex Luke Thomas car into good positions. It was almost a flashback to 1998 when a plucky young Scot was a white top with a similar car! Paul Rice (990) singled a return to form in heat 2, after Nathan Maidment (935) took the running.

The consolation was a display of excellence by Dan Moss (797) who made his intentions clear, by taking up the lead early on from the rapidly improving Paul Milsom (245) who held off late charges from Richard Beere (254) and James Rygor (783).

The final started in a tremendous fashion. After a few frantic laps, the Westcountry's top men in the National points, Hooper and Chris Mikkula (522) tangled. Within a few laps Milsom had taken up the lead pursued by Moss and Ritchie Meads (596). The yellows came out for the first incident, and Moss soon took up the running. Bill Batten's (167) lead over his fellow reds, and it was Liam Rowe (605) who on the restart, despatched the soon to be pensioner to back of the queue, like some post office renegade! Some laps later, Milsom was despatched into the infield concrete block by Meads. From the blues came Nathan Maidment (935) who joined his fellow TART at the front of the grid. With the lap boards showing, Moss led from Maidment and from Rowe in 3rd. It was clear that Maidment was going to catch Moss, and duly did as the 2 to go board came out. Rowe was catching and went into the final bend, ready to go snooker loopy by firing Moss into Maidment. However, he moved only the Moss and Maidment took his second Taunton final win for the season. And another red top! However that wasn't the end of the matter as Moss was deemed to have jumped the start, and thus became joint leader in the Pringle series. Moves are afoot to find a dodgy pringle jumper to award to the "lucky winner"

After the assualt

The Grand National was delayed as a lively Devon Championship for the Bangers (semi skimmed variety) took one of the wires out going into the Honiton bend. Some people took advantage and went home or went to pick their missus up from Crealy, a local theme park! However when racing got underway, it was to be a controversial one. As Milsom led them away again, Moss took up the running. However it was Hooper that took the win. The main talking point, bedlam on the Honiton bend. Matt Westaway (835) was picked up, latched and despatched by Dave "The Semtex Kid" Sansom (352) in a follow in of the most massive variety. Totally unprovoked, Sansom picked up the Cornish blue top and fired him in. Instant disqualification for the comeback blue top. Be it 1994 or 2012, this was totally OTT, leaving Westaway dazed, winded and confused. Totally out of order. Westaway obviously shaken by the incident says that the incident has made him take stock of the situation, and will be taking some time off. Be very surprised if Sansom doesn't pick up a ban for that.

Now anyone thinking of giving the Saloon World Final a miss - simply don't! The Saloons were at their brutal best, a mouthwatering display of bumper action and race craft, if you miss the World, then you are a tool of the highest order.

A Barfbados report might be here later, but keep all eyes here on Tuesday Evening, as I will try and keep you informed of who's going to Buxton for the semis........

Tatty bye now....where's me aftersun!

European Weekend.....

As readers of this blog and my previous writings, I dislike this meeting greatly. One track shouldn't have the same championship year in year out. With constant earbashing from my new found brethern in the Midlands that I should, I thought, enough is enough lets give it a go.

Last year, I came close to going, and this year, after many years of persuasion, that it wasn't that bad and it was good craic. I must be getting old, I go racing to watch racing, not to be a grumpy Dutch hardcore disco induced insomniac bastard come Sunday morn. I swore I wouldn't go, but it did look rather good. Bradders out in a Polley car, plus the 1's had been reasonable when I had seen them. Plus after a trip home for a weekend, I had to go for an away fixture, and well, this looked good on paper.

With a sense of smugness and with the logistics acting suitably good, I decided to take the drive home option rather than camp. The driving conditions on Thursday night's journey from Cornwall to my Nottinghamshire base was to be honest, dire. Constant rain, and as I received pictures of the local cricket pitch under water, what the hell was I driving into!

CARRY ON CAMPING? CAR PARK QUAGMIRE QUANDRY

"Plant some spuds, they'll be ready for the World Masters"

When I arrived, the hard standing in the main track complex was my car park. And thank the lord it was hard standing! The field for camping was at best description damp, worst, waterlogged and like a quagmire! I felt sorry for all those tented folk! Considering nearby village Billing was evacuated, perhaps a lack of foresight by those at Incaworth, which with proper preparations could have prevented the quagmire that developed on Saturday night. Vehicles being pushed into the campsite, and were pushed out, by tractor, creeking back panels galore according to many! It was times like this I was glad for the hard standing!

One of the drier areas

Sunday came, and we rocked up at around 10:30. The Stadium Car Park was full and the field was a complete quagmire still, so many, including myself, parked on the verge on the side of the road, on the best advice of the track staff. So when the announcement came over the tannoy from Paul Gerrard, that them blastid boys in blue were out ticketing cars on the road, I found myself doing an "angry Amarillo" back to the car. Think Peter Kay and Tony Christie walking on with gusto. "Sha lala la laa laa BASTARDS!!!! Sha la laa laa la all GRRRR!!!" You get the idea. I move the car in, everyone shaking their heads in disgust, voicing their frustrations. I got in ok, went a bit gingerly and watched the majority do the same. It was apparent from the wake following behind any car, that the field was waterlogged. The sun was out, but it made it very interesting finding a relatively untouched bit to park up in. Parked up, trainers sodden, squelching away, shit high, wet socks and everything, I get back. After the meeting, whilst numpties were using the well trodden paths. Like a pioneer I made me own, avoiding the tentative and the stuck and when I saw mud, I gave it the beans and lo, on the road relatively quick. The car was filthy, and needed a wash, but I was out, undamaged, not stuck and leaving a muck spreaderesque trail behind me.

F2's for COMPANY, BUT 3's a CROWD

The Incaworth Guys pose in their new shirts. Not as flash as the others

A 4:45 start time, was a bit random, but considering the track had a 10pm curfew, I found it baffling that the PA was so loud, I SAID I FOUND IT BAFFLING THAT THE PA WAS SO LOUD! (continue ad nausuem). Our presentation team was Dave Goddard, Paul Gerrard (usually stewarding, so bit confused on that one) and Graham Woodward (Spedeworth's man in the know, about Spedeworth!). They decided to play a little game about predicting the winner, which considering the informed crowd, did nothing to build the atmosphere, and to be honest, they were at some points more interested in that than actually giving out the results. In fact, rather than give out the results, they'd update on how their ridiculous predictions. 3 men with their own agenda and in jokes, which sadly no one was a bit interested in. Put it this way, if I bumped into any of those 3 in Ladbrokes, I'd ask how the family was, not who was going to win the 3:40 at Kempton Park.

We listened to the Haye/Chisora fight on the way home and the king of building up the atmosphere, renowned MC, Michael Buffa, was the MC. You know the one ...."Llllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttt's get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmble". The guy who goes "Welcome To The Main Event" before the strains of 2 Unlimited kick in. That's how you hype it up. Glad to see it was used in the build up to the main races, but once again, the F2's provided the biggest numbers yet again, only to be placed as third fiddle. And this was apparent with the Grand Marshals. Rebel Guru Hans Krima started the Rebels off, a NASCAR vice President for the ones, the aforementioned Gerrard for us, who's accent doesn't lead itself to gravitas. Like getting Noddy Holder to voice a trailer for a Hollywood blockbuster! Following the conclusion of the Rebels and F1's European, there was Fireworks. All great and good, but where were the fireworks for the 2's, and why oh why do you need fireworks during the day? It would be easier if they fired up an AK in the air if they wanted that effect! Apparently the official line is that there was a F2 parked near to the fireworks so we couldn't have the whizzes and bangs.

NEWSFLASH from INCARACE
Spedeworth Motorsport's Race Director, Paul Gerrard, has announced his choice for the 2013 Grand National. The 1000-1 shot EvoStik has been chosen by the plucky midlander. Good Luck Paul!

NOT SO GOOD-DARD

I think Dave will be the first to admit, he had a shocker with basic information, which seemed to highlight the weekend as a whole. Most confusion came with the Polleysport cars. Chris Bradbury (886) was announced in a Spedeworth motorsport car, despite that car dying at Skegness, and both Bradders and Polley announcing with fanfare on Twitter that he would be using a Polley car. DP's 2012 tarmac steed (the one involved in Pitgate Gate) found its way to Aryton Mills (222), who owned it, not for hire or resale! Then the actual hire car was in the hands of Barry Kellnher (576) the Aussie. Goddard was the first to admit he missed the leader in one race, such was Aryton Mills' lead in one of the Sunday. A foolish move by the boy also was to incur the wrath of Jo Polley (soon to be Jo Goldin of course) when she mentioned her man still had the British title on his bonnet. Err, no Dave, he lost that 2 months ago!
One of the commentators job is to inform the crowd, drivers and officials of the placing and format of the day. Unfortunately, there was some confusion and a breakdown in communication as Darren Phillips (844) thought he had qualified as top 10, and the pit board said as such. So lines up for the final, and no was the cry, and one unhappy driver then followed!

I'm sure its a blip, and he's usually good, but glaring errors breed errors! Bit of research, even if it is a pit walk. Still the best of the 3 on the mic.


MARVELS MASTERCLASS IN HEATS BUT BOWYER TAKES A BOW
Shurrup and tell us about the racing!
Loads of 2's in the pits so the first 3 heat tarmac meeting of the year! Astonishing when you think that was in recent times, 80 cars was the norm for the Midlands, but travel far and wide with 6 countries represented over the weekend (I am of course including exiled Welshman Roy Slocombe (513) in that). Right, Heat 1 was won at a canter by Gordon Moodie (7). Heat 2 was run in damp changing conditions, and it was Speaky (218) who found a different racing line to everyone else. Heat 3, saw Bradders skip through the puddles like a 3 year old with a pair of wellies on. The consolations were split into 2, George Turrucki (186) in a rare tar appearance and comeback king Dave Tagell (20) taking them. Last weeks final winner at Buxton, Richard Bowyer (761) had just finished painting his upgrade from yellow to blue, only to supersize his upgrade with another final win. Next weekend it'll be red. The GN saw some quite awesome blows traded between Speak and Mike Green (115). However the buffeting taken by Green was in vain as Speaky was docked 8 places for not starting in the correct position. Funnily enough, maybe the Clerk of the Course or Steward should have informed him of this before the race. Some might say that it is lazy of the driver to start there, but it is also lazy of the officials not to correct it in the first place! A "first ever win" for Tim Bailey (817) in the GN. A call to fire up the Barbeque and crack open a beer, was replaced with "Fire up Dirty Gerty" (the Golf) and get some juice for her to drink, and then plump up the pillows!

LUCK OF THE SCOTTISH
The Scots are not renowned for their luck. Euro '96 springs to mind. Their closest chance to qualify for the next round of major tournament. The English were 4-0 up and they had got the necessary goal for safe passage. What happens then is the English thought, hang on a mo, quick let a goal in!
Not the case for Gordon Moodie (7).
Luck number 1.
In the "public" draw, which took place at 10:45 outside race control, with no crowd and not on the main PA. Moodie drew no 9. He spoke in the post race interview that "he would be happy if he was near the front and every one else was down the high street". Happy he was, as he was in Marks and Sparks, whereas Messrs Bradbury, Goldin and Speak, were at Mr Pound, Lidl and Greggs. Incidently, in the World qualifying series, Gordon is currently located by the wheelie bins in the piss strewn passage by the multi storey at the end of the High Street. He will probably relocated by the end of next week!
Luck number 2.
With laps prevailing into single figures, the yellows come out for the Dutchman H265, who had stopped in the middle of the back straight. As the flags came out Lord Gordy, clipped the park car and spun. Like a pensioner after a supermarket car park prang, he just dinnae see it. Another car, another place, another time, the wheel could have gone, or race ending damage. Very, Very lucky!
Luck number 3.
After gaining a good half lap lead, and with about 5 to go, the #7 car started to sound very sick going around the corners. It certainly sounded like a plug lead had worked off, but the gap was safe enough for Jack Aldridge (921) not to catch.

A third European title for the Moodster then, but he will be counting his lucky stars. Although won with relative ease, he knew that the smallest of margins could have made a difference.

Over she goes. "Char" Lee Dimmick (59) in Heat 1

The rest of the meeting was a flat affair. Rather drawn out, with many fans and drivers alike making the move at certain points in the day. Moodie took heat 1 of the day, heat 2 went the way of Mike Green (115) and Bradders took Heat 3. The Consi saw another Scot victorious in Robbie Dawson (854), before Richard Bowyer (761) took his 3rd final in 3 meetings. Green completed the meeting with another tussle with Speak and took the GN.




MR SOFTEE IS BACK
No, not a story about Brynda Thomas, missing link in the Legion Of Doom....
Rumours abound in the pits about our bad old friend, tyre softener, and this time, he's incognito. Undetectable softener, which fails to be read by any chemical sniffer or durometer,  Pro Blend Hot Laps 2, to many. Totally undetectable, and running rife in other forms of motorsport. Details of which you could find Here Here and Here. In fact any "muppet" could put that into a search engine, and get the necessary suppliers and stockists.

What wasn't apparent was the stringent tests and post race checks. One presumes they were done, it wasn't apparent on the day. Also it was of some concern to note that our leader in waiting (tis only a matter of time) Deane Wood, has convened a meeting of engine builders to clarify a few points of order.....


OGGY OGGY OGGY!

"goin up Camborne ill goin down"

Mike James (417) The Singing Cornishman, winning in the F1's for the first time in 20 years. Had it not been for a yellow flag or two, a second F1 European title would have been forthcoming... Now Jamesy has always loved Northampton...


On his F2 comeback in the Higman hire car, we followed Jamesy up, and as fellow Higman cars, shared a lot of intel, spares and beer. I remember as he pulled on the track, he stopped the warm up lap, got out of the car. You Ok, Jamesy, whats wrong, was the cry! "I need a dump" said the legend! Now of course he is known for his singing....

All together now,..... "I am the music man I come from Hewaswater and I can play.....".

CONCLUSION

As for the weekend, if the title is to grow, it needs a change of format, perhaps even putting the F2 European as the last race of the Saturday night. If people are exhausted after 2 semis back to back, then why put 3 championship races on the same day, let alone back to back! With limited build up and obvious undercard status, it baffles me that Brisca F2 persists with this situation. It is time for the Euros to move. There are drivers out there which wish to race in it but their mahcinery doesn't allow for competitiveness. There are more shale drivers and tracks on the continent, more so, with the advent of Austria and the like, maybe its time the shale boys had a chance. The format definitely needs looking at, otherwise, just give the trophy to the highest superstar on the course.
It was apparent that little effort was made on the F2 - I think a reminder is required just which is Europe's premier formula!

Will I go next year, depends where it is... it might be another 16 years before I go again!

A Toytown Tuesday....

The Jho fun bus trundled into East Devon for the latest stop on the Road to Gold at good old Smeatharpe Stadium, for a spot of nocturnal stock car action. 

Dunno bout you, but I do love a midweek meeting! Memories of being a young lad at Newton Abbot, watching my heroes trade blows every corner. Bill Dalley, the Nattie Tattie, the sweet stall that sold sherbet lemons and chocolate limes (a taste sensation!) and Trevor Redmond's hat! It was a sad day for sport when that closed! However one more Newton memory was about to resurrected

Hot on the heels of other 90's throwbacks Ralph Tracey (838) and Rich Thomas (756), came the immortal Semtex Kid, Dave Sansom (352 formerly 652). Back in those heady Newton Abbot days he was the man to fear. Not afraid of using the bumper on anyone. Even Speaky got owned by Sammo at one Bank Holiday. However, he got banned as a result of a season long feud between the Farrells and the Bowdens who ended up scrapping in the pits at the final Newton Abbot. So some 18 years later, he's back, and having to explain to the current crop of drivers just who he was and what he did was a challenging task in itself.

So with Semtex on the comeback trail, 2 more newcomers came about. Son of Gilson and brother of Chris, Marc Rowe (526) came out with a self built beauty. Former Autospeed Ministox silver roof, Ryan Hoskin (991) finally made his race debut after months of practice at the Autospeed circuits in the ex Chris Mikulla (522) Randall. All told, 29 cars were in the pits, very disappointing again for a qualifying round, but in an act of bravery, Autospeed decided on the traditional qualifying method of 2 heats and consolation. Eyebrows away from the stadium were raised, but remember, the way that the national points is setup is for a 26 car final!

Heat 1 saw the track dry apart from it was slightly wet on the apex of the Honiton bend. However after the green dropped first corner, pit bend, over went Dave Sansom (352). Some wags thought it was because he thought he was racing the old track. (Those who have been to Taunton will notice that there is an inner kerb - this was the old track length in 1994!).
Chris Mikkula (522) took the win in what looked like a fairly lightweight heat.

Semtex, Over and Out

Heat 2 looked more stellar. Simmo raced for the first time at Taunton for some time and with Messrs Batten and Hooper. It was 16 year old and 1 day, Ryan Hoskin (991) who led them off into the distance, taking Glenn Sanders (734) and Simon Edwards (430)for company. However behind them, both James Rygor (783) and Neil Hooper (676) were trading blows, and again, the tricky Honiton bend, played into the hands. However the yellow tops came together around halfway with Edwards starting to earn the name "Troubadour" as like the dictionary trouble follows. Sanders, unhappy at his exit from the race, did the traditional steering wheel discus. On the restart, it was clear that Hooper (in purple dress) was going clear. The 676 machine took the win.
Consolation time, and these things are rarer than a rare thing nowadays. As Ryan Hoskin (991) led them away again, this time taking Paul Milsom (245) for company. However, it was fellow Ministox alumnus Ollie "Jaguar" Skeels (124) who drove a faultless race to take the chequered. Alongside him for most of the journey was the returning Sansom who looked the part, in a car already looking the part!

Final time saw it going under diminishing light. Half the field were reds, and maybe pole red Liam Rowe (605) got a bit excited about the amount behind him, as he spun round. Bedlam followed, mostly instigated by the Semtex Kid, who ended up interwoven with Matt Westaway (835). With the field depleted by 5, the complete restart saw Milsom and Hoskin lead them away again, and this time Skeels and Chris Rowe (76) caught. Indeed Skeels sped away to a fair distance lead. Behind, Bill Batten (167) had broken away from the pack of reds, and when the yellows came out to recover a car (not only did it benefit Liam Rowe) than Hooper and Fisher sped past the soon to be pensioner, allowing the whippersnapper Jack Aldridge (921) to pounce, and wallop, out went Batten and he took Simpson for company. With the laps ticking down in the A1 Windows and Doors sponsored final, Skeels had pulled away a good 1/2 lap lead over Hooper. He will certainly be in the shake up for the Young Guns trophy, and he wasn't even born the last time Dave Sansom raced!

In the Grand National, after a yellow flag for a filter fire for Danny Ward (180), who decided to pat it out, "The Tiger" James Rygor (783) got the better of Hooper.

So after all the maths that I was asked about and advised on regarding qualifying points, the choice of having a full format meeting was a good one and one this writer applauds. Good clean racing, thrills, spills and action, just what you want on a cold Tuesday on the Devon/Somerset border. The final should always be the busiest race - take heed other promotions, good racing can happen with a limited number of cars!

Just wish it was every week....

Ho hum.... and get this, next stop, off to the Euros!! Yeah, I know, shock horror!

Sunshine on a Rainy St Day

It was Plymouthian Elkie Brooks, who originally sang "Sunshine after the Rain", and the Cornish track of St Day always seems to provide me with either hypothermia or sunburn. As the rest of the country it seemed to be struggling under torrents of flood water, United Downs wasn't one of them, as 27 cars turned up to play.

Topping the bill was World Champ Mark Simpson (871) who professed that the last time he was there he was about 5. A raised eyebrow came from Mr Skegness once he looked at the track. Maybe in shock, maybe in glee! Also travelling down was Danny Ward (180) and Paul Ford (888) all the way from Scotland.

However, much trumpeted appearances from legend Rob Speak (218) and Barford boy Dave Pannett (836) were ruined by engine troubles incurred at Buxton the night before. After the minis had their fancy dress parade, the F2 drivers got a commemorative mug from meeting sponsor, ex F2 driver Neil Truran. The sun was out, life couldn't be better! Sadly, with only 27 cars, a 2/3rds format was approved, disappointing as the traditional QR format was dispensed with, highlighting the worrying trend across the country.

Heat one was led away by only white, Liam Deeble (785), but it wasn't long before the weary traveller Dan Moss (797) took up running, and then took the win. It had looked like returning naughty boy Neil Hooper (676) was going to take the flag, only engine troubles which meant a rapid engine swap between heats.

Heat 2 saw Moss once again speed away and got the better of his fellow yellows but the improving Ryan Wadling (476) tagged along too. However, it was Chris Mikkula (522) who took the win - only win of the day for the reds, despite nearly half the field being red tops of some kind.

Heat 3 started under spitting rain. Track conditions got progressively worse, as the shower got heavier, it was down to who could handle the conditions, and avoid the traffic and battles. Deeble sped away to a good lead, but it was wily old Veteran and TART, Paul Butcher (189) who was the first to break away from the gaggle of scrapping blues and red. Indeed he took over the lead in and took a well deserved victory.

Knock next time

Despite the track turning incredibly damp at the end of Heat 3, come final time the track was bone dry. A field of red tops (12!) not seen in Cornwall for a long long time. Again, the pacemakers were Deeble and Moss, who again had Ryan Wadling along side him, but this time Butcher caught up and took the running. Behind was a wholehearted scrap between the resurgent OAP to be, Bill Batten (167) and 2 drivers almost 50 years his junior, Liam Rowe (605) and Jack Aldridge (921). The 921 came out on top and the Novice of the Year set about catching the Gloucestershire based blue top. With 2 to go, Aldridge was in glancing distance of the 189 Higman car, but as the cars entered the last corner, a lunge from Aldridge, was rode out by Butcher, who took the St Day qualifying round for the second time.  Race of the season so far for me, exactly what stock car is about!

2 years ago, Butcher won the final at the very same meeting, and following a heavy session on Rattler at the Moss pre qualifier barbecue. This time, after laying off the apple abuse, Butch had a clear head! And yet another Westcountry red top!

The national was a brutal race, grades bit more bunched up and as a result, more incidents occurred including a nasty looking one for Justin Fisher (315) and Paul Ford (888)...

Ollie Skeels (124) was the lead blue and took with him Richard Beere (254) for company. However, gremlins befell the former Ministox champ and Beere took over. Neil Hooper (676) then started to catch his fellow Devonian, and again a last bend hit, but Beere snuck the win on the line.

A great days racing with changing winners and a good hard but fair racing, and yeah the sun shone, and everyone went home happy.

POINTS OF ORDER....

A few drivers cemented their semi places today, pushing themselves over the 30 point mark which signifies a semi place....

The PA has been replaced, great quality sound, still not required for banger man Brian Goldsworthy. Can't do nothing about the awful Jon Wyatt though...

And finally, after a teasy display following a fancy dress win for the Mystery Machine and Scooby Doo, 5 Ministox drivers received a telling off following a spot of naughtiness. They would have gotten away if it wasn't that meddling Wadge!!

So, Smeatharpe on a school night, yes please!

Skegvegas Speedweekend.....

Tents packed up, barbeque coals smouldering, enough empty glass to build the Crystal Palace and various flags draped over various free standing objects. Rumour is Hazel is weighing in all that tin or the empties to pay for the grandstand for the F1 world! All roads lead out of Skegvegas after another Speedweekend jamboree of banter, alcohol and funny costumes. Apparently there was some racing too!

For some the racing started on the Thursday night, under a monsoon, which saw some happy campers camping in the middle of Lake Cottage Farm, as Skeggy took a drenching, unlike our man in the North dear old Wrighty, who looked like the outboard over the car was a better option. Ever the opportunist, F1's favourite double glazing salesman, Paul Hines (259) said that if anyone had suffered damage from the humungous hail shower, that he offers replacement glass at reasonable rates! Well that new tar car gotta pay for itself somehow...

Now due to prom based logistical problems, I was only able to do the Sunday, and it felt a little lacking in atmosphere, but then everyone knows its the Saturday which is the shizzle. General consensus was that it was missing something...

3 straight heats greeted the Sunday goers, after the other heats from the previous last night. Heat 1 saw yellow flag collector Gary Wrench (359) take fellow white top, Jacklyn Ellis (915) for company. Wrench took the victory, however for the lady got it all wrong going down the back straight, resulting in major damage, and as the rescuing marshalls said she had a "hot ass". Sadly for Jac, it wasn't a compliment as the flames licking around her seat caused an extinguishing moment. Heat 2 saw the immaculate car of Andrew Thompson (717) took heat 2, which acted as heat 7 for the UK Championship. Keeping up at the back?? Good, stay with us!

Needing a lot of points to get himself back into the UK final to defend his title, Gordon Moodie (7) took heat 3 or was it 8?? When he got on the pace wagon, the Red Arrows (possible flying in formation ready for the RAF Waddington Air Show) flew past. A spokesman for Skegness Stadium said it wasn't a coincidence!

The last chance was won by fellow Scot Chris Burgoyne (647) who probably wouldn't of had to last chance if his wheelguard didn't come adrift during the earlier heat. After being shown the pointless technical disqualification flag numerous times, the canny Scot probably thought the St George's Cross was a bit of provocation from Mr Starter, and promptly ignored it constantly, until the black flag (the correct and only flag that should be used) was shown.

However if this weekend is to grow further and back to the "glory days", a few things need be addressed....

The "UK Open"

Just how "Open" a UK Open can be with a restricted amount of bookings. Surely thats a closed championship? Yes, it's not a Brisca title but a domestic title added onto the weekend. What are the criteria for selection? It seemed a little top heavy and aimed towards more blues and reds. Surely it would have been better to offer a booking to whoever wanted one....which brings me on to...

F1's presence

They were on the whole dull. Plenty of bumper trading at the back but the winners sped into the lead and weren't seen again. A potential 40 pit spaces were taken up - lets face it, by the number of cars there, justification for their attendance was hard to fathom, considering they have their own Speedweekend in May.

Format

In what has to be one of the most confusing formats, drivers raced in 2 out of the 5 heats on the Saturday, then some drivers then raced in the consolation despite scoring points.  Then a meeting final which counted for nothing with regard to the UK Championship race. Then the qualifying point scoring starts

Not only is it confusing on a national points front, it is confusing for the spectator too. Despite the best efforts of Messrs Oxby and Kaleta, keeping track of who done what is hard at best, including many confused looks.

The proposal I've had for ages, rather than have races for no points for most of the drivers, is to split the drivers into two groups, if 90 cars into two groups of 45. Group Alpha and Group Beta, and never the twain shall meet until the later stages. Each group then has 2 heats, and consolation, 10 going through from each, giving a 30 car "semi final". Top fifteen go through from the semi, the remainder going to the "B final" where the 15 non qualifiers from each semi battle it out for the 10 remaining places, in the closed grid Super Final, which would have triple or quadruple national points. Easy to follow and no more races, and an equal distribution and reward of points for efforts.

For those who say, it's not about the racing, then go to the Boathouse, and we'll see you Sunday evening!

Starts...

As Brisca's unofficial watcher of starts, being Secretary of the Benevolent Order of the Pringle, I take a great interest in the fairness of starts. The starts on the Saturday were the source of much heightened blood pressure for one stock car fan, as the future Mrs Goldin launched a twitter outrage! So with this in mind, I took my notes marked "Bristol" (sorry Andy!) of poor starts. The whites got flyers and the reds were in the blues before the green. Drew Lammas (341) was definitely once bitten and twice shy as he led away the UK Open, having a final nicked off him on the line on the Saturday night, so he crept around like a funeral cortege. Roll on to the GN, and Moodie and Goldin are 5th and 6th when the yellows come out. Now one of the memories of last season at Skegness was Eddie Darby passing 5 cars in one corner the hard way. However, this isn't meant to happen whilst the yellow is out and the green is still behind Mr Starter! Even to most practitioners of the Moodie faith, said it was dubious at best, extremely advantageous! Another track, another steward with more minerals, and we'd have some silver in the Pringle order.

So, in conclusion, I can't really comment about the weekend as a whole, as the apres-stox and night life of the Friday and Saturday nights, and Sunday is the day when everyone slopes off one by one and heads home, be it Scotland, Ireland or Pixieland, when everyone nurses a hangover or nurses a week of van fatigue!

Right, you lot, time you lot come down to Cornwall innit...  St Day Qualifier and then Toytown, you know you wants to!