European Weekend.....

As readers of this blog and my previous writings, I dislike this meeting greatly. One track shouldn't have the same championship year in year out. With constant earbashing from my new found brethern in the Midlands that I should, I thought, enough is enough lets give it a go.

Last year, I came close to going, and this year, after many years of persuasion, that it wasn't that bad and it was good craic. I must be getting old, I go racing to watch racing, not to be a grumpy Dutch hardcore disco induced insomniac bastard come Sunday morn. I swore I wouldn't go, but it did look rather good. Bradders out in a Polley car, plus the 1's had been reasonable when I had seen them. Plus after a trip home for a weekend, I had to go for an away fixture, and well, this looked good on paper.

With a sense of smugness and with the logistics acting suitably good, I decided to take the drive home option rather than camp. The driving conditions on Thursday night's journey from Cornwall to my Nottinghamshire base was to be honest, dire. Constant rain, and as I received pictures of the local cricket pitch under water, what the hell was I driving into!

CARRY ON CAMPING? CAR PARK QUAGMIRE QUANDRY

"Plant some spuds, they'll be ready for the World Masters"

When I arrived, the hard standing in the main track complex was my car park. And thank the lord it was hard standing! The field for camping was at best description damp, worst, waterlogged and like a quagmire! I felt sorry for all those tented folk! Considering nearby village Billing was evacuated, perhaps a lack of foresight by those at Incaworth, which with proper preparations could have prevented the quagmire that developed on Saturday night. Vehicles being pushed into the campsite, and were pushed out, by tractor, creeking back panels galore according to many! It was times like this I was glad for the hard standing!

One of the drier areas

Sunday came, and we rocked up at around 10:30. The Stadium Car Park was full and the field was a complete quagmire still, so many, including myself, parked on the verge on the side of the road, on the best advice of the track staff. So when the announcement came over the tannoy from Paul Gerrard, that them blastid boys in blue were out ticketing cars on the road, I found myself doing an "angry Amarillo" back to the car. Think Peter Kay and Tony Christie walking on with gusto. "Sha lala la laa laa BASTARDS!!!! Sha la laa laa la all GRRRR!!!" You get the idea. I move the car in, everyone shaking their heads in disgust, voicing their frustrations. I got in ok, went a bit gingerly and watched the majority do the same. It was apparent from the wake following behind any car, that the field was waterlogged. The sun was out, but it made it very interesting finding a relatively untouched bit to park up in. Parked up, trainers sodden, squelching away, shit high, wet socks and everything, I get back. After the meeting, whilst numpties were using the well trodden paths. Like a pioneer I made me own, avoiding the tentative and the stuck and when I saw mud, I gave it the beans and lo, on the road relatively quick. The car was filthy, and needed a wash, but I was out, undamaged, not stuck and leaving a muck spreaderesque trail behind me.

F2's for COMPANY, BUT 3's a CROWD

The Incaworth Guys pose in their new shirts. Not as flash as the others

A 4:45 start time, was a bit random, but considering the track had a 10pm curfew, I found it baffling that the PA was so loud, I SAID I FOUND IT BAFFLING THAT THE PA WAS SO LOUD! (continue ad nausuem). Our presentation team was Dave Goddard, Paul Gerrard (usually stewarding, so bit confused on that one) and Graham Woodward (Spedeworth's man in the know, about Spedeworth!). They decided to play a little game about predicting the winner, which considering the informed crowd, did nothing to build the atmosphere, and to be honest, they were at some points more interested in that than actually giving out the results. In fact, rather than give out the results, they'd update on how their ridiculous predictions. 3 men with their own agenda and in jokes, which sadly no one was a bit interested in. Put it this way, if I bumped into any of those 3 in Ladbrokes, I'd ask how the family was, not who was going to win the 3:40 at Kempton Park.

We listened to the Haye/Chisora fight on the way home and the king of building up the atmosphere, renowned MC, Michael Buffa, was the MC. You know the one ...."Llllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttt's get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmble". The guy who goes "Welcome To The Main Event" before the strains of 2 Unlimited kick in. That's how you hype it up. Glad to see it was used in the build up to the main races, but once again, the F2's provided the biggest numbers yet again, only to be placed as third fiddle. And this was apparent with the Grand Marshals. Rebel Guru Hans Krima started the Rebels off, a NASCAR vice President for the ones, the aforementioned Gerrard for us, who's accent doesn't lead itself to gravitas. Like getting Noddy Holder to voice a trailer for a Hollywood blockbuster! Following the conclusion of the Rebels and F1's European, there was Fireworks. All great and good, but where were the fireworks for the 2's, and why oh why do you need fireworks during the day? It would be easier if they fired up an AK in the air if they wanted that effect! Apparently the official line is that there was a F2 parked near to the fireworks so we couldn't have the whizzes and bangs.

NEWSFLASH from INCARACE
Spedeworth Motorsport's Race Director, Paul Gerrard, has announced his choice for the 2013 Grand National. The 1000-1 shot EvoStik has been chosen by the plucky midlander. Good Luck Paul!

NOT SO GOOD-DARD

I think Dave will be the first to admit, he had a shocker with basic information, which seemed to highlight the weekend as a whole. Most confusion came with the Polleysport cars. Chris Bradbury (886) was announced in a Spedeworth motorsport car, despite that car dying at Skegness, and both Bradders and Polley announcing with fanfare on Twitter that he would be using a Polley car. DP's 2012 tarmac steed (the one involved in Pitgate Gate) found its way to Aryton Mills (222), who owned it, not for hire or resale! Then the actual hire car was in the hands of Barry Kellnher (576) the Aussie. Goddard was the first to admit he missed the leader in one race, such was Aryton Mills' lead in one of the Sunday. A foolish move by the boy also was to incur the wrath of Jo Polley (soon to be Jo Goldin of course) when she mentioned her man still had the British title on his bonnet. Err, no Dave, he lost that 2 months ago!
One of the commentators job is to inform the crowd, drivers and officials of the placing and format of the day. Unfortunately, there was some confusion and a breakdown in communication as Darren Phillips (844) thought he had qualified as top 10, and the pit board said as such. So lines up for the final, and no was the cry, and one unhappy driver then followed!

I'm sure its a blip, and he's usually good, but glaring errors breed errors! Bit of research, even if it is a pit walk. Still the best of the 3 on the mic.


MARVELS MASTERCLASS IN HEATS BUT BOWYER TAKES A BOW
Shurrup and tell us about the racing!
Loads of 2's in the pits so the first 3 heat tarmac meeting of the year! Astonishing when you think that was in recent times, 80 cars was the norm for the Midlands, but travel far and wide with 6 countries represented over the weekend (I am of course including exiled Welshman Roy Slocombe (513) in that). Right, Heat 1 was won at a canter by Gordon Moodie (7). Heat 2 was run in damp changing conditions, and it was Speaky (218) who found a different racing line to everyone else. Heat 3, saw Bradders skip through the puddles like a 3 year old with a pair of wellies on. The consolations were split into 2, George Turrucki (186) in a rare tar appearance and comeback king Dave Tagell (20) taking them. Last weeks final winner at Buxton, Richard Bowyer (761) had just finished painting his upgrade from yellow to blue, only to supersize his upgrade with another final win. Next weekend it'll be red. The GN saw some quite awesome blows traded between Speak and Mike Green (115). However the buffeting taken by Green was in vain as Speaky was docked 8 places for not starting in the correct position. Funnily enough, maybe the Clerk of the Course or Steward should have informed him of this before the race. Some might say that it is lazy of the driver to start there, but it is also lazy of the officials not to correct it in the first place! A "first ever win" for Tim Bailey (817) in the GN. A call to fire up the Barbeque and crack open a beer, was replaced with "Fire up Dirty Gerty" (the Golf) and get some juice for her to drink, and then plump up the pillows!

LUCK OF THE SCOTTISH
The Scots are not renowned for their luck. Euro '96 springs to mind. Their closest chance to qualify for the next round of major tournament. The English were 4-0 up and they had got the necessary goal for safe passage. What happens then is the English thought, hang on a mo, quick let a goal in!
Not the case for Gordon Moodie (7).
Luck number 1.
In the "public" draw, which took place at 10:45 outside race control, with no crowd and not on the main PA. Moodie drew no 9. He spoke in the post race interview that "he would be happy if he was near the front and every one else was down the high street". Happy he was, as he was in Marks and Sparks, whereas Messrs Bradbury, Goldin and Speak, were at Mr Pound, Lidl and Greggs. Incidently, in the World qualifying series, Gordon is currently located by the wheelie bins in the piss strewn passage by the multi storey at the end of the High Street. He will probably relocated by the end of next week!
Luck number 2.
With laps prevailing into single figures, the yellows come out for the Dutchman H265, who had stopped in the middle of the back straight. As the flags came out Lord Gordy, clipped the park car and spun. Like a pensioner after a supermarket car park prang, he just dinnae see it. Another car, another place, another time, the wheel could have gone, or race ending damage. Very, Very lucky!
Luck number 3.
After gaining a good half lap lead, and with about 5 to go, the #7 car started to sound very sick going around the corners. It certainly sounded like a plug lead had worked off, but the gap was safe enough for Jack Aldridge (921) not to catch.

A third European title for the Moodster then, but he will be counting his lucky stars. Although won with relative ease, he knew that the smallest of margins could have made a difference.

Over she goes. "Char" Lee Dimmick (59) in Heat 1

The rest of the meeting was a flat affair. Rather drawn out, with many fans and drivers alike making the move at certain points in the day. Moodie took heat 1 of the day, heat 2 went the way of Mike Green (115) and Bradders took Heat 3. The Consi saw another Scot victorious in Robbie Dawson (854), before Richard Bowyer (761) took his 3rd final in 3 meetings. Green completed the meeting with another tussle with Speak and took the GN.




MR SOFTEE IS BACK
No, not a story about Brynda Thomas, missing link in the Legion Of Doom....
Rumours abound in the pits about our bad old friend, tyre softener, and this time, he's incognito. Undetectable softener, which fails to be read by any chemical sniffer or durometer,  Pro Blend Hot Laps 2, to many. Totally undetectable, and running rife in other forms of motorsport. Details of which you could find Here Here and Here. In fact any "muppet" could put that into a search engine, and get the necessary suppliers and stockists.

What wasn't apparent was the stringent tests and post race checks. One presumes they were done, it wasn't apparent on the day. Also it was of some concern to note that our leader in waiting (tis only a matter of time) Deane Wood, has convened a meeting of engine builders to clarify a few points of order.....


OGGY OGGY OGGY!

"goin up Camborne ill goin down"

Mike James (417) The Singing Cornishman, winning in the F1's for the first time in 20 years. Had it not been for a yellow flag or two, a second F1 European title would have been forthcoming... Now Jamesy has always loved Northampton...


On his F2 comeback in the Higman hire car, we followed Jamesy up, and as fellow Higman cars, shared a lot of intel, spares and beer. I remember as he pulled on the track, he stopped the warm up lap, got out of the car. You Ok, Jamesy, whats wrong, was the cry! "I need a dump" said the legend! Now of course he is known for his singing....

All together now,..... "I am the music man I come from Hewaswater and I can play.....".

CONCLUSION

As for the weekend, if the title is to grow, it needs a change of format, perhaps even putting the F2 European as the last race of the Saturday night. If people are exhausted after 2 semis back to back, then why put 3 championship races on the same day, let alone back to back! With limited build up and obvious undercard status, it baffles me that Brisca F2 persists with this situation. It is time for the Euros to move. There are drivers out there which wish to race in it but their mahcinery doesn't allow for competitiveness. There are more shale drivers and tracks on the continent, more so, with the advent of Austria and the like, maybe its time the shale boys had a chance. The format definitely needs looking at, otherwise, just give the trophy to the highest superstar on the course.
It was apparent that little effort was made on the F2 - I think a reminder is required just which is Europe's premier formula!

Will I go next year, depends where it is... it might be another 16 years before I go again!