So with a fortnight to go until the massed hoards decend into County Durham in search of stox and sun, local legend of the internet forum and all round good egg, Wrighty, takes us on a Beginner's Guide to Barford (and surrounding areas)
Well it’s almost September and that can only mean one thing….yep it’s World Final time! Now, while this year’s venue of choice Barford doesn’t have the best of reputations for hosting the big meetings, the site has been rejigged and re-arranged (I hesitate to say ‘modernised’ because that’s not really appropriate but it has been heavily modified through the course of the year) and so, whether you’re just coming for the big day or staying for the weekend or perhaps staying for life like me (or more than 3 days, which will feel like a lifetime) you will thank me (yes THANK ME!!) for this idio…..erm tourist’s guide to the locale:
1: Provisions – Because the local towns of Barnard Castle (you can call it ‘Barnie’ and get away with it in the right accent…..that is any accent from north of the M18) and Richmond appear to the outsider to operate on what appears to be an archaic feudal system of trading (well archaic if you’re not from Buckinghamshire) there isn’t a surplus of huge supermarkets but fear not, you can follow the A688 (the road that goes past the stadium gate) away from Barnie, through Staindrop and onward to West Auckland where there is a stonking big Sainsburys with an equally outrageous Tesco next door…..both are well stocked with artisan (read ‘poncey’) ales and tipples and tasty nibbles and there’s a KFC and a Starbucks and one of those fantastic brand new 'homely' gastro-pubs on site if you need that added whiff of middle-class spending to offset the smell of cow….well lets just say cow.
Distance from track <10 miles.
2:
Speciality provisions – smaller stores in the aforementioned feudal
areas will stock some speciality nibbles to tempt your touristy
tastebuds, which have been coated with years of cheap zoider and jellied
eels and therefore require revival – there can only be one – the
Taylors Pork Pie – do not underestimate the power of this to remind you
that Melton Mowbray has NOTHING going for it. Other pies are available
but Taylors are the Rolls Royce of pork pies – you have been warned. (If
you have time on Saturday pre-meeting, shoot up the A1 into Darlington
to buy these at source…..literally still warm…..you are not ready for
this.)Distance from track <5 miles.
3: Ale – Yes this is not a haven for apple growers, so prepare for a pint of ‘the heavy’ – the normal rule of thumb applies - if you haven’t heard of it then it’ll be good – if Tesco sell it then stay away (unless it is available in hand-pull form, in which case you can boast of having had ‘the real thing’ when you’re next in said supermarket looking at insipidly coloured pallets of tins….). Theakston ales are local but a little passé now, but Black Sheep Ales are mighty fayre, but like I say familiarity with the brand is inversely proportional to its flavour and potency so have fun discovering.
Distance from track.....staggering distance if there's a God.
4: Other attractions ‘for the ladies’ – There’s Raby Castle just past
Staindrop which has some art and deer and stuff. I pass it every time I
go to Barford, and then I pass it again on the way home. Looks nice. So
do stock cars.
Distance from track ermmmm.....
5: Do not attempt to say any of the following in your own accent in an attempt to impress or endear yourself to the local: Eh up, ow do, marrah, chuck, hun, petal, petlamb, love, lover, hinny, environment, NIMBY, Countryside Alliance, Ramblers Association, industry.
6. Finally a note from the wise. Bring coats, lots of 'em. Even your spare coats will not be enough as the track has its own micro Antarctic climate. The locals will have their vests on mind....
Have fun!! Wrighty
No comments:
Post a Comment