May Day Bank Holiday Weekend and well, it was on the whole wet! Whereas Englishmen dance around maypoles and morris dance, us Cornish folk have the 'Obby 'Oss and the Furry Dance. Yup, I know, we're strange as a country!
So with the added bonus of entertaining 3 teenage children who have only been to the sterile environments of Skegness and Northampton, it was time to inflict some racing on them, Westcountry style.
However, as part of the almost Middle East-esque keeping of the peace deal, a trip to the shopping metropolis that is Drake's Circus, Plymouth, was the bargaining chip. And then the first amount of pain come. Try standing outside a changing room with limited 3G based distractions and a battery on the wain, not for 5 minutes, not for 10, try the best part of an hour, thumb twiddling, I even went on a journey to HMV to kill some time. However that killing turned into a massacre. Women don't act like us blokes, nice pair of jeans, in my size, pay the man, in the bag, home, done. After much shoe gazing, now at least I know the thinking of Neil Hooper (676) every race morning. Black dress or purple dress, does it go with my shoes and can I get a matching handbag to go with?
COWDENBEATH IN CRISIS - CROWD STUNNED AS SOMEONE ELSE WINS
7 days of national mourning have been announced by First Minister, Alex Salmond, after it was announced that neither firm fan favourite and winner of Nobel Prize for stock car racing, Lordy Gordy Moodie (7) and his trusty companion Sir Christopher Edward Burgyone (647) won a single race between them. With the heats distributed between Tom Adcroft (768) and Craig Wallace (163), the dastardly Adcroft then kept the boys at bay by taking the final also. Rubbing salt further into the wounds, Wallace then took the national. Promoters GMP issued a statement hoping that this was just a blip and that normal service would be resumed as soon as possible.
ISSIT A PRINGLE? SADLY BRADDERS IT IS, AS CARL STEALS A LYNN WIN
Over on the East Coast, the shale shifters were in force with another good turnout. After a heat win for fellow member of the stox twitterati, Dave Polley (38) and the other going the way of the English Champion Nick Rogers (742), the consolation was taken by Chris Bradbury (886), followed home by Carl Issit (103). That was the way of the final also, until the King's Lynn steward that the 886 mobile had been a little eager with the go pedal, and lo, the knitted garment was adorned, and it was stalwart Issit that took the final win from Andrew Palmer (606). However, despite his misdemeanor in the final, Bradbury then took some small comfort from winning the Grand National.
JAY SHOWS THE WAY AT ST DAY
Sunday morning saw several not quite tired enough teenagers with the partner and I, as we headed west to St Day. Going past the numerous numpties going to Trago Mills (which was also painful on Saturday) and going down the Glynn Valley, between Liskeard and Bodmin. As I was approaching Bodmin Parkway station, someone was turning into the station and caused me to brake to a standstill, which unfortunately the bloke behind didn't. Fortunately, my Golf remained virtually unscathed, unlike the other blokes Pug. With a little hit and a stiff neck for the car load. Yeoucch, and more pain was to come as a necessary stop to Kingsley Village meant that £14 of sweets had to be bought to lessen the shock for the kids!
St Day was sunny, if not a bit cold, and for what was my first there this year. Crispen and co had been busy solving a few problems. Autospeed's allegiances in the Premiership battle became clear as the "United" had been removed from the Downs Raceway, and also the Loch Ness monster and her family had set up camp on each corner, stopping any nasty corner cutters!
Just out of shot, Lord Lucan on Shergar.... |
Soon to be named the Etihad Raceway... |
Taunton, who truly was appalling. You can't hear him, his delivery is rushed and not measured. Goldsworthy on the other hand, his enthusiasm for all things on all things bangers is remarkable, however I heard him name check and promote a rival non ORCi promotion, the North Cornwall Banger Racing Club's meeting at Netherbridge, which is a grass track. A major faux pas....
Also did anyone else have a programme which was forward and back? Mine was like one of those adventure story books. Turn to page 5 for the amulet or turn to page 9 to speak to the sorceress? Nah I just want to read "5 years ago"!
BRADDERS BRISTOL'S BRAVEST IN PINK PUDDLE PRIZE
Strawberry TART anyone? |
So with the fun over, the serious racing took place, and with a further down pour, the track was sodden and slippy. Heat 1 went the way of Jay Tomkins (290) who was fresh from his win the day before, and Heat 2 went the way of Bradmeister, indeed so did heat 3 and the final, but alas rain stopped play for the Jho contingent, and the earliest finish to a meeting since both me and my sister were Yorkshire and Lancashire during a midweek food poisioning at Newton Abbot about 20 years ago. Matt Linfield (464) was no doubt gleeful as the horrific shower deposited another cloud, as he took the win in the GN to go with his runner up trophy.
With no doubt cries of "southern softy" crying from Wrighty, who'll have the report of Sheffield here soon...
Right, tumble dryer to warp 10 please.....
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