Long time no blog....

If this blog was a child, I'd have social services knocking at my door, and Jeremy Kyle on series link. With a combination of cold, cough and general man fluness, a new job with early starts, a couple of royal visits to Jho Towers from the missus, and the start of my pantomime, oh yes it is ... means there hasn't been an update in a while.... So in traditional fashion, here's one of my lazy ass piss takey bits..

JINGLE JANGLE....

With the passing of the legend Sir Jimmy Saville, the BBC has released some of the letters that were sent into the cigar chomping DJ. Some interesting replies from some familar faces in their formative years, that might or might not have been sent, to the tracksuited one.....

"Dear Jim...Please can you fix it for me to have flying lessons. Signed Justin Fisher, Newton Abbot"

Now then, now then, jingle jangle, jewellery, jewellery, young man. it appears you 'ave 'ad plenty of experience of flying and my help isn't necessary. So would you like to go snorkelting with Cannon and Ball?





This one comes in from Surrey, it goes...

"Dear Jim, Please can you fix it for me. Signed Todd Jones"
Now then young man, you bend it, you mend it. Hows about you play snooker with Pepsi and Shirley



Here's another

"Dear Jim, please can you fix it for me to have a new pram. My current one isn't big enough for all my toys, and they keep on getting thrown out. Yours, Lil Davey, Manea, Essex"

Now then, now then young man, you are in a stroke of luck. A chap in Darleyford called Simon found most of the toys that you threw away. Be a little more careful next time, still Simon  likes horses, perhaps you can join Rolf of the Harris in a chorus of  "Two Little Boys" uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhurrr

and our final letter comes from Bonnie Scotland it goes.........

"Dear Jim, please can you fix it for me to win the World Final. Signed Wee Gordy (7) from Fife"

Uhhuhuhuhuhuhuuhur, now then now then, I'm not falling for that. Write your own punchline, I don't want to wake to a deep fried mars bar and bottle of irn bru in my bedd... uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhurrrr


Well Jim has fixed for you and you and you and............